Fighting Fears

My first loss of the year is tadah... my tie. It's been missing for weeks and finally i conclude that indeed, it has left me forever... lets have a one minute of silence to reflect on the times i spent with my beloved tie. The times it has been through with me, through thick and thin. Tests and presentations, the dreadful cca's and times of boredom. How it also helped allay my fears by allowing me to twist and tug it when i'm nervous. Now there's no one to be my my side(or shld i say front) every wed. Ahhh...i miss you my tie. come back to me

Anyway, i remembered that i had the fear of losing things last time. i would grow panicky and frantic when i lose even the smallest things such as a ruler or pencil. The worst was when i lost my brother's cap. i broke down. Basically because he told me specifically not to lose it and i did just tt. Then there was my history text, which for weeks i was begging anyone who have seen it return to me, and having it returned to me only 15mins after i bought a new one. Think of the stupidity, frustration and anger i was feeling at tt time. It wasn't abt the money if you are thinking so. Since young i was chided of being the hopeless forgetful one in the family. So everytime i lost something it just confirms that i am wu ke jiu yao (medicine also cannot cure). I hate that feeling.

It seems now that i don't have that fear anymore. I have grown used to accepting loss and taking it as it is. If it's not meant to belong to you, it's just not. i'm not sure this overcoming of fear is a good thing or bad. Only time will tell. I can only hope that i don't lose anymore things.

Fear is a strange thing.It has an amazing hold over us, yet they can be useful and be a liability at the same time. I'm just glad i don't have fears which burden. My advice:If you have one, fight it